Does DBT therapy even work?

radical acceptance baby

"Feelings are just visitors, let them come and go." - Mooji

Dialect behavior therapy is designed for suitors with BPD and or other emotional regulators. I am in the category of the “other emotional regulator,” hence social anxiety disorder, major depression disorder, self-harm, impulsive, and very angry outbursts if I do say so myself. So my not-so but quite-so “in-school therapist” began to perform DBT therapy on me, at the request of my psych eval.

DBT is the Dialectics of change & acceptance — It’s teaching us more than one perspective in times of need, in times of isolation, in times of darkness. It gives you hope, as the light that seethes into your childhood bedroom … allowing you to see that there is no monster under your bed. Enabling you to realize that the sun rises in the west, and there’s more to life — you will not be clamored in that hole forever.

DBT allows you to realize YOU NEED TO CHANGE but in a positive and accepting light. This leads to the accepting aspect, in which you also simultaneously come upon the realization that YOU NEED TO ACCEPT YOU FOR YOU, in moments of the emotional and or rational mind.

The emotional mind is when you are clouded by your emotions. Whereas the rational mind is when logic and facts come first and foremost, but at an extreme. Wise mind is when they are interconnected and provide a balance between the two extremes.

On paper, it all seems so simple and connected… just have a strong mindset and you’ll change your behavior. But how does one change their mindset? There are little gateway tickets to it, but never an explanation. This is where I hold my grudge. Because you can talk, but it’s hard to talk if the recipient's ears are closed.

Radical acceptance is the current skill I’m betrothed on. It is “Recognizing that some parts of life are beyond our control, and that struggling against them only leads to further suffering. It involves accepting and making peace with things that cannot be changed, such as past events, current circumstances, or other people’s behaviors”(Olson, DBT.com) It is supposed to allow you to make space for your wise mind and allow for events to pass and come without having a strong reaction. Like, say, running away from the situation. (literally and figuratively)

But this is when I beg the question, how does one not think in their emotional mind? Your emotions are what make the world round; there what makes the grass green and the trees brisk. We’re held hostage by them, so how do we ignore them? How does one let their emotions pass through like the silk that slicks our tongue back?

That’s just it, you can’t. At least I’m unable to copy and paste this perfect formula into my mind. To not run away, to not use my emotions is to cut the tree I bark upon.

Because how does one love their self? Tell me, tell me! I’ll do it, I need to…Oh, how I need to, I’m so deprived of heart and self-appreciation. My skin rusts to the rapture of my thoughts — a scared little child.

Feelings are not visitors; they rot, and they rot, and they rot.